Cry Baby (Bruce Banner x Reader)

It's so easy, laughing, smiling. But then again, you've had lots of practice pretending to be happy. You used to "wear your heart on your sleeve" as they say, well technically, you still did; you just hid it better now. You used to cry at everything, a tease, a sad movie, messing up something, or just for no reason at all, causing everyone who knew you to call you "cry baby," even your own family.

You hated that nickname.

You didn't mean to be a baby, it's just that everything just made you so sad, it's not like anyone would believe you though; they insisted that you were always "looking for a reason to cry" and "just wanted attention." If anything, the last thing you wanted was attention. Crying in front of people was so embarrassing!  So at some point in your young life, you decided to hold back the tears, never crying in front of anyone again. In the beginning, it was so hard, but eventually you got the hang of it, being able to laugh off every insult thrown your way. But behind closed doors, you let it all go. Every single sad thing that ever happened that day pouring out of you like blood from a fresh wound. Crying yourself to sleep was not uncommon for you because of this. Luckily no one on the team knew.

Ah, yes, the Avengers! It's weird to think that one day you thought you were normal, and the next Captain America was knocking at your door. Before your superhero days, you were happily running a small emergency vet's office. Your small place of business however began to expand, as word got out that even with the bleakest of cases, you had never lost an animal. You were sure this was due to luck, or your dedication to the field, but SHIELD was sure it was due to something supernatural.

So you discovered you had healing powers. Who'd have known? Certainly not your parents, as they were just as baffled. SHIELD insisted that you leave your cozy animal hospital, to work with their doctors at their headquarters, and then eventually work out on the field. And by insisted, I mean they had a different superhero and/or SHIELD agent at your door every morning. Eventually the Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury, came himself. How could you say no to such a threatening face?

Transitioning to your new job was hard at first, but encouragement from Steve and Natasha, who doubled as personal trainers, was enough to pull you through. They even gave you a cool codename: Sage. Not long after that, the Avengers were formed, to help take down Loki. So much has happened since then, from the takedown of SHIELD to attack of the killer robots!

As you looked around the table at all of your friends, you were thankful to be apart of this team, who knows how many empty chairs there would be if it wasn't for you!

Don't think too highly of yourself (y/n). Do you doubt their strength? I'm sure they would be fine without you.

Though a smile still tugged at your lips, your eyes became cloudy and sad. Your brain was determined to make sure you never have a happy thought! You mentally cursed the stupid, anxious head of yours, the root of all your problems. You should be happy, shouldn't you? Why is it so hard?

The banter at the table was so loud, almost no one heard you sigh sadly, almost. Bruce's eyes snapped up to yours and you quickly flashed him a smile, hoping he hadn't caught your facade crumble. Bruce stared at you for a moment before sending a small warm smile your way. You gaze broke from his as you resumed listening in on the rest of the Avengers' conversation, something you should have been doing instead of pondering your own existence.

"It has been too long since we have fought against a formidable foe! These last few battles have been far too easy for my liking!" Thor was loud as usual, his voice towering over the cacophony from the rest of the team's lips.

"Hey, you're not the only one who's bored big guy," Natasha playfully bantered with Thor as she swung her legs up onto the table, making Steve raise an eyebrow. "You're right though about it being too easy, none of us even got hurt. Who knows, maybe Sage can retire as we have no use for them." Nat looked at you and smiled in a way that let you know she was joking. But somehow, it still hurt, making you feel unneeded. You felt your eyes start to water a bit.

NO NO NO, DON'T YOU DARE CRY (Y/N), NOT NOW!

And just like that you dried your eyes and smiled back at Natasha sarcastically.

"Ha ha, very funny! You won't get rid of me that easily!" You pointed at Nat in fake accusation. You'll cry about your uselessness later, right now you had to focus on keeping your cool until the "after battle meeting" was over. You didn't notice Bruce's eyes on your form this time though, as you were too caught up in keeping your "happy mask" in check.

As the discussion ended, one by one, the heroes filed out of the board room, some, like Clint, announcing their retreat to the bedroom. You gathered up your things and made your way out of the door as well, keeping your eyes straight forward.

Almost there, almost there.

You could see the door to your room when you saw Steve approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

Shit, shit, shit!

He wanted to talk to you now, really? You walked a little slower now, trying to make it seem like you had not been racing towards your door, when you heard Thor's booming voice calling out to Steve from somewhere in the tower. You saw Steve shake his head and redirect his path towards Thor's shouting. You breathed out a sigh of relief and resumed rushing to your door. You shut the door just as quickly as you had flung it open and slid down its back, tears spilling from your eyes already. You got up to place your files on your nightstand when you crumpled to the floor, your hand instinctively grabbing the nearest furniture for support. You had reached your limit, you could go no further. You let your files fall to the floor as you simultaneously let out a large sob, mentally thanking Tony for the soundproof walls. Your hand let go of its support, letting your whole body meet the floor rather ungracefully. Your arms held your sides in an awkward hug as you laid on the floor shaking and sobbing.

Today had been awful, not like any other day was much better. This morning you tried your best to make a small breakfast for yourself and the other avengers, but it ended in complete disaster. You managed to burn an entire loaf of bread's worth of toast, set Tony's kitchen on fire just by boiling eggs, and you spilled the milk. And know here you were crying about it. You would have laughed at the irony had you been in a better mood. Luckily, Steve didn't mind helping you clean up and make a whole new breakfast before anyone else showed up in the kitchen. You were mortified, but you laughed it off to Steve, like you always did with things that upset you.

And then at training, you could hardly land a hit on Clint, but once training was over, you sure did a number on his hand.

I stepped on his freaking hand, seriously? I crushed the hand he uses to launch his arrows, what luck!

Clint assured you that he was fine and to not beat yourself up over it, and to just repay him by fixing his hand. But still, you felt like an ass. Then later, just as Natasha said, you weren't much use at all on the field. Even simple things such as taking out the bad guys proved difficult today, finding yourself "saved" by Captain America one too many times.

They don't even need me, I'm so useless! Utterly and completely useless!

You had been so engrossed in your own self-deprecating thoughts and hideous crying, that you didn't notice your door creek open. Not until you heard Bruce calling your name, quietly at first, and then louder as he heard you sobs.

"Oh my God, (y/n)! Are you alright?" Bruce ran over to you, kneeling on the floor next to you before pulling you into his lap. "Hey, look at me," he held your chin towards his face, so gently you could hardly feel his hand there, "What's wrong?" His eyes were frantically searching your body, for wounds no doubt, before landing onto yours, a look of confusion and panic surging through them, and perhaps concern as well. You couldn't even answer him; you just buried your face into his chest and sobbed louder, gripping his shirt in the process. You hadn't even bothered trying to pretend like he didn't catch you crying, which surprised you. Maybe it was due to the fact that it would be silly to deny it now, after he found you the way he did, or maybe it was due to the fact that you were just so tired of hiding it from everyone. Whatever the reason, you would have some explaining to do, and you weren't looking forward to the conversation looming in the air.

After several minutes of heavy sobbing, your cries slowed down to a whimper and you realized that Bruce had been drawing circles on your back and whispering soft words into your ear. You two sat in silence for a moment, before you finally pulled away from his chest, looking to the floor as you did so. Bruce continued to rub your back, albeit moving slower now.

"Better?"

"Yeah." Your voice was hoarse, from crying obviously, and what you had intended to come out at a normal volume, came out as barely a whisper. Bruce heard you though as you saw him give you a sad smile as your eyes made their way up to his face.

"Do you want to tell me what was wrong?" You stayed silent and looked to the floor again. "Was it what Natasha said? Because I'm sure she-"

"I know she didn't mean it." Bruce looked at you, waiting for more. "I just, I just feel useless. I'm always messing up, making things harder for the team, so maybe you guys don't need me."

"How long have you felt like this?" Bruce furrowed his brows and searched your face... sadly?

"Always, even before coming to SHIELD." Bruce looked at you silently for a moment before he sighed and relaxed his face, pulling your head into his chest again. He hugged you so close you could hear his heartbeat, and you placed your hand on his chest once more and listened while the room was still quiet.

"You're not useless." He finally whispered out. "We are so lucky to have you on this team, to have you on this earth! You have saved all of our lives multiple times. And everyone messes up. I mean, I managed to make myself into a monster for crying out loud!" You pulled away from his chest and looked at him so seriously it shocked him.

"You're not a monster. You're a hero, my friend, protector of the earth, an Avenger!"

"As are you." Bruce's shocked face turned into a warm smile, turning your words on you. Now you were the one who wore a shocked expression. Bruce lifted his hand to your face, cupping it in his palm. You instinctively leaned into his touch, but quickly blushed at your actions. "You know, you can tell us, when you feel like this. You don't have to keep it all locked up until you break. We all care so much about you. I'm sure if the others knew you were having a hard time, they'd bend over backwards to make sure you feel loved." Fresh tears started slipping down your cheeks at Bruce's kind words. You gripped his hand on your face and smiled up at him.

"Thank you." You awkwardly rubbed the tears off of your face and laughed slightly. You climbed off of Bruce's lap and stood up, offering a hand to him, which he gladly took. You two stood there holding hands until you awkwardly let go and laughed as he looked away at the wall blushing. “Could you, um..."

"Yes?" Bruce turned his attention back to you, hands in his pockets now.

"Could you spent the night in my room? Like um, and cuddle, yeah." You looked at your feet, face red from crying blushing.

"Of course (y/n)." You jerked your head up quickly to meet his gaze to find him smiling warmly at you, blush dusting his cheeks as well. You laughed softly, looking anywhere but his eyes.

"Meet you back here in ten?" You glanced at his lab coat, figuring he'd want to get comfortable, you as well.

"Sure thing."

"Alright."

"Okay." He smiled bashfully, hand coming up to scratch his head as he headed out your door, gently shutting it.

As you got ready for bed you couldn't help but smile, a real genuine smile, one your face hadn't seen in a long time.